Sometimes we know what is best simply due to our instincts. Trust them. Simplify. Do less and prioritize being around good people and in nature. Sometimes I feel like that’s all my kids need.
Name:
Lauren Stevens
Current Occupation:
High School Counselor and therapist in a group practice. Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
# of Children:
2 boys, ages 3 & 4
What do you love about being a working mom?
I love the balance of my adult work life and mom life -- and the sense of community that my workplace provides. I am truly passionate about my work and it is a huge part of my identity. Fortunately, I am able to end my days early and have big breaks throughout the year. This allows me to be with my boys.
What is the biggest challenge of being a working mom?
The rush of the day-to-day grind wears on me and I feel like I am rushing my little ones from once place to the other ALL THE TIME. Being present for them and feeling connected in those rushed moments have been tough. Though, we really try and incorporate humor and play which makes them more manageable and less stressful.
What tips do you have for other working moms?
If it feels like it is too much, it’s because it is. The “to-do” list for working families is much too long. It is also loaded with items that modern day society has deemed important.
I notice when I am overwhelmed and trying to keep up with all of the parenting duties (in addition to everything else), that I feel stressed because it IS too much and is not sustainable. It has nothing to do with me. The demands are excessive and our support networks are less robust.
We have moved so far away from the existence that was intended for us. People don’t live in community the way they used to which has made the world worse for families.
I have done a ton of reading and simply paid attention to my intuition which points to this very fact. When I am with my kids and there are other adults around to attend to them, I feel more supported and they are receiving the care that nature intended. My other piece of advice is pay attention to your gut. We read so many books and dive into the endless stream of information on how to parent online.
Sometimes we know what is best simply due to our instincts. Trust them. Simplify. Do less and prioritize being around good people and in nature. Sometimes I feel like that’s all my kids need.
Any relationship tips for working moms?
This is a tough one! It has to be a priority and it’s good for kids to know that mom and dad need their time alone too. My grandparents religiously sent the kids outside every day at 5pm so they could sit and have their favorite cocktail together. Good for the kids to go outside and learn how to play independently and good for the adults.
What's the best piece of advice your own mother gave you?
Take Pepto Bismal. My sister and I joke to this day that every time we had any physical illness, our mom would say…”oh honey just take some pepto.” In all seriousness, our mom would encourage self-care and to tell anyone who was being unkind to buzz off.
Additionally, our stepmom was very protective. She stressed the importance of holding high standards in terms of how partners should treat us and modeled the values of a healthy relationship. It was very important to her that we select husbands that would show up for us.
What stresses you out?
Traffic, loud car engines/motorcycles that pop and wake up my babies, concrete jungles and karaoke.
How do you mother yourself?
- Lead with self-compassion when parenting and remember what we are taking on.
- I fit in 30 min cat naps before I go pick up my boys.
- Exercise, yoga, essential oils and paying attention to my inner voice.
- Sometimes picturing myself as a little girl and loving her the way I want to currently love myself.
- Being with friends that feel nurturing and supportive (we get a lot from our women friends that we cannot from our partners – I find my women friends and I nurture and care for each other like a mother would).
How and why do you use CBD?
I take CBD to help calm and soothe after a long day.
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