If you're like me, and have trouble asking for help, you're set up for disaster... so try to speak up, yet respect each other's realities and feelings.
Name:
Cristina Maillo Belda
Current Occupation:
VP of Communications at Nashville Soccer Club
# of Children and their Ages:
One, Luna, she's 11 months old
What do you love about being a working mom?
I love who I am away from home and the opportunity it brings me to be me, be passionate about my work and career, and challenge myself in a way in which, funny enough, I actually feel comfortable.
What is the biggest challenge of being a working mom?
As a new mom, my biggest challenge has been finding ways to fit everything I need to or want to do in the day... What did I do with all that time before becoming a mom?!
Breastfeeding/pumping while working is not an easy task either. It comes with maneuvering when and where to do it while juggling schedules, meetings, offsite events, trips... Despite blocking off my calendar for pumping sessions and having the luxury of my very own office...
I get caught constantly with the awkwardness of having to explain myself and what I'm doing, which leaves me with the feeling of being unprofessional.
And mind you, the cringing anecdotes of breastfeeding and pumping from the past 11 months are endless.
If you had a magic wand, what would you change about working mom life?
Wow, great and tough question... the first thing that came to mind was to win the lottery... Jokes aside, I think society has come a long way but there's still a huge disparity when it comes to women and moms in the workspace. I'm tremendously fortunate to work for an organization that advocates for its people and needs and that understands the challenges I'm facing, but I wish that the U.S. as a country invested more in family, basic social, education and childcare services.
What tips do you have for other working moms?
Advocate for universal childcare! Then find time for yourself. It's easier said than done. Hopefully you have a network (family/friends) who you can rely on. For us, not having family in the U.S. and being in a new city have presented a lot of challenges to find time for us without paying a fortune.
Additionally, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, anxiety and depression are real, and they present in lots of us in many different ways.
It's extremely important to identify your feelings as they come and name your emotions out loud, so you can actually seek help, if necessary.
I'm currently working on getting help.
Any relationship tips for working moms?
Candidly, I'm failing miserably in this department so I'd take any tips from those reading this! Mind you, I'm a believer that in order to take care of your relationship and others, I need to take care of myself first, and between the baby, the chores, work, and the lack of support, I'm struggling to find the time for either of us.
Two areas at which I have to work very hard are communication and asking for help. I feel that as a mom, motherhood comes with a level of innateness that doesn't necessarily translate equally to our partners. This can come with lots of frustration and resentfulness for both sides. I have an amazingly loving, caring and dedicated partner, and even with that, I find myself responsible for a whole lot more decisions than he is, decisions as trivial as what she eats today.
If you're like me, and have trouble asking for help, you're set up for disaster... so try to speak up, yet respect each other's realities and feelings.
They want to be our allies just as bad as we need the help, but they just don't know how to do it unless we share it with them.
What stresses you out?
The idea that I or my "selfish" wants/plans could be the cause of Luna having a bad day brings me so much anxiety that I much rather not do anything at all.
Living in chaos also has me bouncing off the walls. Have you seen the movie Shrek when all the creatures move into his swamp? well, that's my house, and I'm the big green angry fella. There's something about a clean, tidy environment that brings me peace and helps me to stay focused and calmed...
Anxiety and depression also come with a lot of self-criticism about not being good enough at anything I do.
Whether it is intentionally or not, I go to bed everyday with the feeling of having failed today, and the daunting thought of having to do it again tomorrow.
I know it's all a mindset, and I work hard to find a different spin to things, but it can turn into a dangerous and exhausting loop.
How do you mother yourself?
Clearly not enough yet... prioritizing myself has never been my forte, and since having Luna, I'm certainly at the very bottom of the to do list. It's something that I need to improve sooner rather than later.
How and why do you take CBD?
Honestly, I have never used it, but I'm very intrigued about trying it once our breastfeeding journey concludes.
Please use CRISTINA20 at checkout for 20% off your order of Moment CBD mints made for working moms like Cristina who recognize the importance of being honest with yourself and your partner on your journey to "do it all."
