I am a recovering perfectionist. Whether in my work or in my mothering, old stories of “not enough-ness” surface when I am tired and less resilient. I know this is a battle for many of us as mothers.
Barbara Elaine Stamis
I work with people who want to heal physical pain & emotional stress.
# of Children and their Ages:
Marlowe, Age 6
What do you love about being a working mom?
I am deeply grateful because I own my own business. I create my schedule and my hours. So, I get to be in service with my gifts AND I get to pick Marlowe up from school. I also get to show Marlowe that work is about being in purpose and in love with what we offer the world.
What is the biggest challenge of being a working mom?
Balancing work, house-holding and and mothering.
Often I blur the lines and I am less present than I wish to be.
If you had a magic wand, what one thing would you change about working mom life?
After childbirth, there is a cultural stigma in our country. Mothers are expected to quickly go back to our old selves. But as mothers, we re-birth ourselves when our babies are born. We cross a threshold that is often forgotten.
We are expected to snap back into shape and start working within a few months, but in reality we are new, tender and hyper focused on our new beloved. The stress and anxiety this dissonance creates is immense.
My magic wand would create one year maternity leave for mothers and the awareness that postpartum is a sacred time of transition. Families need space and time to heal and transform together.
What tips do you have for other working moms?
Slow down. Slow down almost like you are in slow motion. Our children desire that the most from us.
Marlowe will sometimes say to me,
“Mom, why are you rushing?”
And my response is,
“Thank you. Thank you!”
Any relationship tips for working moms?
Deepen your relationship to yourself. Work with a coach or therapist. Explore the triggers and shadows your child guides you towards. And if you are in partnership, date nights are magic. Even if just once a month, they keep the sweetness.
I consider my husband and myself the CEO’s of our household. We deal with many transactions thought the day. Date nights remind us of our intimacy and our connection outside of everything else.
What's the best piece of advice your own mother gave you?
“This too shall pass.”
This reminds me that everything is always changing. The difficult times will pass, and so will the absolutely magical times.
This brings me back to slowing down and being present, because we all know how quickly our children grow and change.
What stresses you out?
My main source of stress is from my over active mind. I am a recovering perfectionist. Whether in my work or in my mothering, old stories of “not enough-ness” surface when I am tired and less resilient. I know this is a battle for many of us as mothers.
We wonder if we are doing it right or doing enough. And in my heart, I know I am.
How do you mother yourself?
I love a delicious super hot bath with tons of essential oils and magnesium flakes. I also have a daily practice. I breathe on the beach and either swim or surf in mother ocean almost every morning for clarity and serenity. And it’s FUN!
Sometimes, mothering myself just looks like sitting down during the day or putting my legs up the wall and taking a load off!
How and why do you take CBD?
I am pretty new to CBD. I just started integrating these delicious MotherBar mints into some of my evening wind downs. I think it helps me get to the slowing down practice with a little more ease and relaxation.